Hot Air
The woman below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering about 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman tending to the flowers in her garden. He descended a bit more and shouted, 'Excuse me, are you able to help me? I promised a mate that I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'
'You must be an Accountant,' said the balloonist.
'I am,' replied the woman, 'How did you know?'
The woman below responded, 'You must be in Management.'
'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is , I am still lost. Frankly, you have not been much help at all. If anything, you have delayed my journey.'
'I am,' replied the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'
'Well,' said the woman, 'you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise of which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your issues. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before they met, but somehow it is now become my fault!'
chicken Awards to GEORGE.W.BUSH
GEORGE W. BUSH
They don't care why the chicken crossed the road. They require to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these different functions of government in a brand spanking new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, ?
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a respectable, hardworking American.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas guzzling SUV.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, & I'll bet somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you think this? How much more of this can actual Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by tax dollars, & when I say tax dollars, I am speaking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the cost dropped to a sure level. No tiny bird gave me any insider knowledge.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did they cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I have not been told!
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called in to query.
GRANDPA
In my day, they didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us that the chicken crossed the road, & that was nice for us.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion & they were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road together with your own eyes! How lots of more chickens must cross before you think it?
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have released eChi.
The woman below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering about 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman tending to the flowers in her garden. He descended a bit more and shouted, 'Excuse me, are you able to help me? I promised a mate that I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'
'You must be an Accountant,' said the balloonist.
'I am,' replied the woman, 'How did you know?'
The woman below responded, 'You must be in Management.'
'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is , I am still lost. Frankly, you have not been much help at all. If anything, you have delayed my journey.'
'I am,' replied the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'
'Well,' said the woman, 'you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise of which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your issues. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before they met, but somehow it is now become my fault!'
chicken Awards to GEORGE.W.BUSH
GEORGE W. BUSH
They don't care why the chicken crossed the road. They require to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these different functions of government in a brand spanking new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, ?
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a respectable, hardworking American.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas guzzling SUV.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, & I'll bet somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you think this? How much more of this can actual Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by tax dollars, & when I say tax dollars, I am speaking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the cost dropped to a sure level. No tiny bird gave me any insider knowledge.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did they cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I have not been told!
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called in to query.
GRANDPA
In my day, they didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us that the chicken crossed the road, & that was nice for us.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion & they were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road together with your own eyes! How lots of more chickens must cross before you think it?
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have released eChi.
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